Ambivalent

adjective

Having conflicting or dissonant views or feelings on a subject, sometimes simultaneously

Usage

When making decisions, it’s helpful to think things through and take firm stances. After all, it’s hard to act on something, or to be comfortable with our choices, if we’re not sure how we really feel. Deciding becomes even more difficult, however, when we see both sides of an argument or feel two different ways at once. Having ambivalent inclinations toward a topic, a situation, or even a person can make it seem like there are no right options when forming a plan of action. One solution to ambivalence is to give our conflicting sentiments time to disentangle. If they don’t, well…deciding not to decide is technically a choice.

Ambivalent characterizes a person as holding conflicting views or feelings at the same time, or as alternating or vacillating between them. Being ambivalent involves having inclinations toward something that may directly oppose or contradict each other. If your two favorite teams were facing off against one another, you might be ambivalent about which one prevails. In this instance, you’d have good reasons for supporting each side, and you might be emotionally invested in both teams, which would make it difficult for you to determine which one you hope wins the game. Anything that refers to feelings, including ideas, perspectives, or attitudes, can be described as ambivalent if they disagree on the same subject but are held by the same person or group. If you support your local government’s spending on welfare programs in some ways but oppose it in others, you could be said to have an ambivalent view on social spending, or an ambivalent policy on supporting it.

Though the word ambivalent is frequently used as a synonym for indecisive or apathetic, there are key elements that distinguish it from either of these terms. While it is often difficult to decide when you have mixed feelings about the choice at hand, being ambivalent just means that you see merit in either alternative. While ambivalence often leads to indecision, it doesn’t necessarily suggest it; sometimes, you may just make a choice out of necessity, or because someone you trust has a more definite opinion. An ambivalent attitude is also not quite like an apathetic one, for while the former involves dissonant feelings toward two or more outcomes, the latter entails having no real feelings on the matter at all. Consider the case where your two favorite sports teams square off against one another. You may not find enough reason to support one team over the other, but you’d probably enjoy watching them compete quite a bit. If you were apathetic about both teams, you wouldn’t care enough about the game to watch it in the first place. No matter what you might be ambivalent toward, your feelings on the matter are anything but subdued.

Example: She was ambivalent about seeing the new Star Trek movie, since she loved the original series but usually hated remakes.

Example: As tax reform became an increasingly contested issue, our congressperson could no longer afford to remain publicly ambivalent toward it.

Example: The student argued for both sides in his essay, giving his writing an ambivalent tone.

Origin

The word ambivalent, which entered English in 1916, was initially used in the field of psychology to denote opposing emotions or states of mind. Ambivalent was adapted from the now-obsolete English word ambivalency, which meant “the state of having conflicting emotions or viewpoints” and has since been replaced by the modern word ambivalence.

The inspiration for ambivalency, Ambivalenz, was introduced by the Swiss psychologist Eugen Bleuler in 1910 to mimic the form of the German Equivalenz (or äquivalenz), which means “equivalence” or “sameness.” Ambivalenz was formed from the Latin prefix ambi-, which means “both” and comes from the Proto-Indo-European (PIE) word ambhi, and the Latin valentia, meaning “strength” or “fortitude” and taken from the Latin verb valere, which means “to have strength.” This means that you can think of ambivalent as literally meaning “to feel or be pulled strongly both ways.” Valere, which is also the source of the English words valor and valiant, ultimately stems from the Proto-Indo-European wal, of the same meaning.

Ambivalent also isn’t the only English word to make use of the Latin prefix ambi-. Ambidextrous means “equally strong or skilled with both hands or feet,” while ambiguous means “vague” or “interpretable in two or more ways.”

If you are thinking of amphibians (“animals who can live on land and water”), the PIE root ambhi also gave birth to the Greek word amphi (“both, around”), which resulted in words like amphibian, amphitheater etc.

Derivative Words

Ambivalence: Ambivalence is the quality or state of having conflicting feelings toward something.

Example: Henry was infamous among his friends for his ambivalence on where to eat, so they did not ask him to break the stalemate in choosing a restaurant.

Example: My ambivalence toward my sister-in-law meant that I was friendly to her on some days but cold to her on others.

Ambivalently: The adverb form is utilized when an action is carried out in a way that suggests no preference for, or conflicting inclinations toward, something. Less commonly, ambivalently can characterize an adjective or other adverb as arising from or related to the state of having mixed feelings about something.

Example: She meandered ambivalently through the city streets on her afternoon walk, going wherever chance took her.

Example: We were ambivalently open to both sides of the debate.

Example: He celebrated his promotion ambivalently, since he was happy to make more money but wary of increased responsibility.

Similar Words

Ambiguous: As a result of their similar spellings, ambivalent and ambiguous are sometimes confused. Both include the prefix ambi-, which is Latin for “both.” However, these words have distinct meanings, and they can’t be used interchangeably. Ambivalent means “to have mixed or contradictory feelings about something.” If you’re ambivalent, you feel both ways. Ambiguous, on the other hand, means “unclear as a result of having multiple meanings.” It’s tough to understand something ambiguous because there are two or more ways to interpret it, and there’s no way to know which is correct. If someone says you have ambiguous feelings or views, it means they’re not sure what you really think (and not that you can’t make up your mind).

In Literature

From Leonard Koren’s Wabi-Sabi: For Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers:

Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness. Wabi-sabi is ambivalent about separating beauty from non-beauty or ugliness. The beauty of wabi-sabi is in one respect, the condition of coming to terms with what you consider ugly. Wabi-sabi suggests that beauty is a dynamic event that occurs between you and something else. Beauty can spontaneously occur at any moment given the proper circumstances, context, or point of view. Beauty is thus an altered state of consciousness, an extraordinary moment of poetry and grace.

In this instructive passage, Koren muses that what makes the Japanese artistic aesthetic of wabi-sabi such an elegant artform is that it is both concerned and unconcerned with satisfying an observer’s desire for beauty — in other words, it is ambivalent toward appearing explicitly beautiful. Instead, wabi-sabi leaves the perception of beauty in supposedly plain or even unsightly pieces up to observers, who must find it for themselves.

From Haruki Murakami’s What I Talk About When I Talk About Running:

A thick cloud blew in from the ocean right over me, and a gentle rain fell for a while, but then, as if it had remembered, “Oh, I’ve got to do some errands!,” it whisked itself away without so much as a glance back. And then the merciless sun was back, scorching the ground. It’s a very easy-to-understand weather pattern. Nothing abstruse or ambivalent about it, not a speck of the metaphor or the symbolic.

Murakami uses ambivalent figuratively to emphasize that the bright sunny weather pattern is simple. Unlike something ambivalent, it is straightforward. It doesn’t present any contradictions or cause mixed feelings, and it behaves in only one way.

Mnemonic

An ambivalent state ambles between two views
An ambidextrous person is ambivalent about which hand to write with
2 things may feel equivalent if you’re ambivalent
Amphibian is ambivalent about being on land or water